Soon and Very Soon

Soon and very soon....

This past weekend my brother and I, along with other family members and old friends, celebrated the life of our mother and mourned her spark of light and life leaving this world just a bit darker because of her passing.

Life was hard for her. For the past 30 years or so she had battled with various diseases and conditions that eventually led to her liver giving out and her death. I admittedly was a royal pain in her backside from the time I was old enough to cause trouble until the day I left home. Our parting, at that time, was not good but we reconciled our differences and in the end she was my friend.

During her memorial service I learned things about her ,from old school friends and church members,that I hadn't known. It was like hearing about a woman that I never really knew anything about. I found out who she kissed and that she was an excellent student in school. I had completely forgot about her love for poetry and my brother told about the times she would read stories to us before bed just before she would head off to work at night. My own memories had more to do with music. I remember her love of Elvis and the Statler brothers, the Gaithers, Johnny Horton and the Gatlins. I learned to love blue grass and gospel, barbershop and Celtic and eventually sang in a barbershop quartet all because of her taste in music appealed to me so much.

She loved cats and birds. She had multitudes of wolf pictures. She used to write to prisoners, before her writing became to bad and she spread the gospel to anyone who would give her a minute of their time. She didn't just talk the talk, she walked it. Where ever she went, when she was feeling well, she would try to spread some joy and happiness and help others in whatever way that she could and though life was hard for her she did what she could to spread some light.

I am glad that my mother and I reconciled our differences a long time ago. I am so glad that my last memory of her will always be the smile she gave me and the way her eyes lit up when she knew that I was there and her hug. Until we meet again I get to have that memory.

These last few weeks, in many ways, was very healing to my soul. I got to see my mother at the end and get re acquainted with some old friends and family. My brother and I spent a lot of time together just talking and being brothers. It almost seems that my soul finally gave itself permission to heal the old hurts and wounds and bring peace to my heart.

If only all of us could learn this without having to go through the pain of losing someone. Why is it that we feel justified in holding a grudge? We are only hurting ourselves. Why do we waste so much time arguing over politics and religion when neither one is going to stop our end from coming? Wouldn't it make more sense if we allowed ourselves to be wronged and yet be filled with love then having to be right and filled with hate?

I am lucky, several times in my life, I have had the opportunity to reconcile with others, including my mother, and I took it. I have never regretted it. Do it yourself while there is still time because you simply don't know what kind of time is left.

In the Bible, when talking about the death of people, they use a couple of terms that I like real well, one is they were gathered to their ancestors old and full of years or that they were gathered to the bosom of Abraham. That is how I want to think about her, resting in the bosom of Abraham or in the arms of God.

“Soon And Very Soon”

Soon and very soon
I'll be going To the place
He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
My shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon
Brooke Frasier